I finally got to tell you stories today. Stories I have been keeping, hiding until the time I get to share them with you. Truths I have been dying to let you know. Questions I wanted to ask. Answers I have prepared to give.
Today, I told you stories of recent events. The stories I never thought I could still share with you. Stories of triumphs and successes, stories of happiness and hopes. I told you stories about what hurts and what keeps hurting. Stories of failure and stupid mistakes. I told you trivial ones, those things that happen to me on a daily basis. I told you secrets, stories I can only let the people in my innermost circle know.
But I never told you the story of how I dealt with loss: how I went through the phase of losing you. It’s the story I am not ready to tell.
Today, I told you about truths. The truths I wished to bring to you. The truth behind the stories untold. The truth behind secrets kept. The truths behind feelings unexpressed. I told you the truth about someone I thought I loved, and how I thought I was loved back. I told you the truth about how so much love was left for you. I told you the truth about the bad decisions and desperate moves.
But I never told you the truth about how I am now, the truth about the mess I made.
Today, I asked you questions. Actually, I asked a question. The question that bothered me for several weeks. The question that kept me awake at night. The question that made me wait for my door to open and to see you standing there. I asked you the question that I hoped could put my mind at peace.
But I never asked you the questions that broke my heart, the questions I will never have the strength to ask.
Today, I gave you answers. Answers I, honestly, believed you don’t need to get. Yet, they were answers I gave in the hope that when the time comes, I get the answers I deserve. Answers that I knew would, at least, serve as a foundation to start anew.
But I never gave you all the answers, I still have so many answers well hidden and waiting for their questions to be asked.
Forgive me for these filtered realities that I am giving you. If and when the right time comes, the walls will come down and you’ll find the truth. Until then, let us both be contented with these filtered realities to avoid complicating things. We’ve been created so much complications, let us be happy with how things are made simpler now.